I know I'm angry right now. It seems so awkwardly quiet. I really don't expect much from people when I'm angry because I usually tend to stay away from people when I know they are angry.
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I really wish I had a constant in my life who had understanding that I could talk to. I need some kind of companionship and rest.
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I do not know if the Russians are seriously wanting my death by making me paranoid in a connection with a cemetary. Some people are figurative, but others are blatantly honest in unexplainable ways and I'm not sure how to really take some people.
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I do have several thoughts that I really want to keep to myself. I have wonders that I don't know how to deal with as well.
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I have a little paranoia with Angelina. It looks like they want to accuse her of my money problem. I don't blame her at all. Before though, when I had friends in person, I felt a little more pushed to spend money with the places and shopping trips we would go on. Even though I havn't written a will yet, I did say that whatever money I do have, I'd want to be donated to her charities that deal with poverty, abuse, and the trafficking crisis.
My money issue is more of a problem with literal unemployment.
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The idea of secrets itself I see is going around. My simple opinion: I see nothing wrong with secrets. A person is not a possession period. It is a person's own choice and will to share or not share something.
One positive reflection I have of Jon Stewart is that he respects that. (when it comes to his interrogation, not really by his own proven action). But I think he agrees when it comes to people and relationships, some things are "sacred."
I really do hate the culture of Rome. Some people literally don't think or care if they were even in a public porno. I do. Some things are personal, private, and intimate for me. Relationships are one of them. Screw the people who think they are entitled to automatically know anything and everything of a person.
Speaking of Jon, I have seen his cat around lately. I feel bullied by him in a passive way with indirect threats. I'm not taking back Blue October. Like I said, my threats do not literally match the band's, but I want revenge on him one day. I really do want to know who is responsible for my exploits and rigging. Since they are so constantly relentless on their karma games, inhumanity, and insensitivity, I really do want them to have to deal with the absurdity of their own karma and hatred. I think it is sick with the way they prey on me.
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I have surprisingly recieved a couple of call backs from the actual state of MD for employment. I do not know what their hidden agenda is, or what is going on with them. I have a bad feeling with both places, but because I obviously need a job, I'm going to try for one anyway.
I have a letter that I want to write yet and have to look up how to write an appeal.
